Apr 17, 02:45 PM
You have it all: the chemistry, the sparks, even the long walks on the beach. But how can you tell if this blissful high will land in the love zone or take a nosedive into ugly territory? Below are five indicators of whether or not the love for your guy will remain:
1. Your Heart Will Go On.
Books and chick flicks don’t always teach us the best lessons in love. Unlike Jerry Maguire, “you complete me” should not be the driving sentiment behind your relationship, even if it sounds hopelessly romantic (Romeo and Juliet being a classically bad example of this).
There’s a difference between wanting someone and being emotionally dependent. If either one of you feels worthless or lost without the other person, it’s not love, it’s desperation, and possibly something that should be worked out in counseling. Try imagining life without him. If the thought of being alone scares you more than losing him as a partner, your dependence on him will eventually backfire and could lead to feelings of possessiveness and jealousy later down the road.
2. Make Him Happy.
Whether this means encouraging him have a night out with the guys or allowing him enjoy his football Sundays, doing things to make him happy whether or not it’s in your interest is a strong indicator of lasting love potential.
If you find yourself cutting him down with insults or sabotaging his happiness, you need to explore why. Do you feel your needs are more important than his? Are you scared of losing him? Do you need to feel more important than him in the relationship?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, there are two good reasons why you should reconsider your future wedding plans. Either you haven’t found the man who can earn your respect or you need to ask yourself why you need to be the center of attention in order to feel happy in a relationship.
3. To Each His Own.
As you spend more time together, do his differing opinions, likes or dislikes get on your nerves or do you accept them as they are? If you are with someone who conforms to your temperament, preferences, or lifestyle without any compromise (or you find yourself conforming to his), you aren’t functioning as two independent people in the relationship. Despite popular belief, you don’t need to find your matching puzzle piece for a lasting relationship—especially if one of you is forcing the fit.
In the ideal scenario, your differences should engage you, challenge you, and further ignite the flame. If the only reason you’re able to function is because one of you is constantly making concessions, it will only get worse. Studies have shown that the things that bug you now about your partner will only magnify over time—imagine 10 to 30 years down the line. Furthermore, studies reveal that couples who try to smooth over conflict rather than deal with it are less happy than couples who let their differences surface (even into argument). So where do you want to overlap? Family values, money management and moral values.