That said, I don’t think the average AA guy reacts with any racial malice. If anything, it’s more of a misguided, ethnocentric pride that gets hurt. As if she’s saying to him, ‘This race is better than yours.’ Which is just a parallel of what I think it mostly is for single guys: self-pride. It opens up a Pandora’s Box: ‘What does he have, that I don’t?’ It could be any number of things, but if race is the recurring factor, it taps into a lifetime of experience as a racial minority; something that you have no control over. And the first question AA guys are going to want to ask is, ‘Why?’

          He may already have his own theories (crappy Asian dad, identity issues, seeking White privilege), but most guys realize that talking about it directly will provide the most insight, whether it be from what she says or how she says it. Sure, environment can be a huge factor; I myself have lived in places where Asian Americans only made up like 1% of the options in my age range. But in any city with a decent Asian American population, a trend of dating non-Asians ultimately tells me that, as an Asian American, I have an extra obstacle to overcome if I want to be with an Asian woman.

          If that’s their preference, so be it. But if it’s truly a racial preference, I consider it to be as shallow as a bank account preference. The more a girl places weight on things like that, the less I trust her judgment. Of course, this is coming from a guy with trust issues. And most people generally make some stupid dating choices early on. So if a woman with a track record of non-Asian exes wants to date me, then she clearly doesn’t place too much importance on those trivial kinds of things, and I don’t see why I wouldn’t give it a shot.

          We all know a significant number of non-Asian men fetishize Asian women, and let’s be honest, many of them can’t tell the difference between a ‘nine’ and a ‘four’. So when the woman is unattractive, I assume the man is satisfying an Asian fetish, and the poor girl is just playing her cards the best she knows how.

          The story changes significantly when I see an attractive Asian woman with a White man. I’m torn between two impulses. The first is to write her off as one of those self-hating Asian women who has become brainwashed by the media. The second is to rise to the challenge and show her how sexy and sophisticated Asian men can be.

          Most Asian guys would not have an issue dating her, but there would be curiosity lingering in the back of his mind as to why she hasn’t dated Asian men. Initially, his opinion of her would not be any different than someone who has dated Asian men. However, based on the answer to the question ‘Why have dated exclusively or mostly white/non-Asian men in the past?,’ the guy’s opinion might change. It’s a dealbreaker if the response is related to disliking her own Asian culture. Not a dealbreaker if she never had an opportunity to date an Asian guy.”