To Relationship Heaven




Nov 16, 12:34 pm

Here are 9 essential bits of wisdom:

1. Give up trying to turn him into your ideal man. There’s no such thing. Falling prey to the misconception that he can change and that you’re the one to do it will only lead to disappointment and resentment. Stop and consider: what are the reasons you fell for him in the first place? They should be enough. If not, reconsider your relationship.

2. Compromise. It’s a requirement of every successful relationship. If you aren’t willing to give back, you aren’t respecting your man or the mutuality of the relationship. After all, it takes two to tango.

3. Think before you speak. Separate your emotions from your rational thoughts. Rather than becoming guided by momentary feelings, take a deep breath and analyze the issue. If you don’t think you can deal with the issue rationally in the moment (as hard as it is to do) take a few hours of time-out to think it over.

4. Communicate. No matter how much you’re in love, your partner can’t read your mind. You still remain two different people with separate perspectives, perceptions and needs. Communication is necessary to understand each other and grow together.

5. Don’t confront him in anger. Things said in anger are often things you’ll later regret. Anger usually stems from hurt. Stop and think about why you’re really angry. Then approach him calmly. He will be more willing to listen to a rational, sympathetic you, instead of an accusatory you.

6. If you’re too upset to sit down for a cool-headed discussion, write a note. That lets you sort out your thoughts and have your say without interruption.

7. Discuss one issue at a time instead of ticking off a laundry list of grievances. He will likely not respond to a series of complaints. Try to bring them up in a casual setting when he is open and willing to listen. If he feels as though he is being attacked, he will become defensive and shut you out.

8. Never attack your partner’s weaknesses. He may never trust you again.

9. Keep the romance alive. One of the biggest pitfalls of long-term relationships is assuming the other partner knows how you feel about them. Let him know you appreciate him, find him sexy, admire him. Just a few words of appreciation can make all the difference between falling apart and staying in love.

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